Archives de l’auteur : jlc

Un petit tour à Wien (Autriche)

15 septembre 2019

Avec mon pote de longue date, l’ami Claude, nous avons programmé une escapade en Autriche, à Wien (Vienne en français) en célibataires.

Que peut-on faire à Vienne sinon débuter le premier moment en allant dans une Bierstube.Et se poser la seule question qui mérite de l’être, à savoir comment allons nous accompagner cette cervoise digne de sa réputation.Fastoche, une Wienerschnitzel reste la seule et unique solution.D’ailleurs, pour faire simple, sur les quatre repas, la commande sera dupliquée :
deux bières et deux Schnitzel(s).Naturellement nous aurons évité la désastreuse faute de goût, une halte dans un néfaste food.Cela dit nous aurions pu choisir de manger Koscher, Ce supermarché ne propose pas simplement de la nourriture Koscher mais de la nourriture Koscherer ce qui signifie encore plus Koscher. Coluche avait déjà souligné le concept avec “Plus blanc que blanc”. Si les rabbins du cru ont repris ce concept, ils sont malheureusement beaucoup moins drôles.Pour aller à Vienne centre ville, il suffit de passer le pont.
Et ce n’est pas le Danube mais simplement le canal latéral.Vienne, ville de culture, ville de Sigmund et d’une tradition emprunte de culture juive.
La preuve ce bâtiment abrite de bon droit l’Université JU IDICUM.
Ce bâtiment ne manque pas d’air, enfin pas trop.Vienne, ville cosmopolite, n’oublie pas d’honorer de célèbres personnages.
Parmi ceux-ci on trouve l’immortel Otto(mobile expert) Gary Bauer.Le discret François Hollande n’est pas oublié.Ni même Barbara dont le superbe restaurant d’Orange Vaucluse, le Peperoncino di Barbara, se voit être reconnu jusqu’à Vienne.Mais il n’y a pas que les restaurants dans la vie, la Kultur a aussi sa place, en particulier avec l’architecture baroque.Un peu chargé me direz-vous. J’en conviens volontiers.Adjoint à cette église se trouve le Cloître de Dominique.
Si un jour après son Alya elle décide de faire Techouva, son adresse est toute trouvée.Vienne est un doux mélange de traditions.Et de post-modernité. Car où trouve-t-on encore des cabines téléphoniques fonctionnelles ?Autre exemple de ce mélange modernité-traditions, le Palais Cobourg, un hôtel de grand luxe qui offre aussi un service le location de coffres-forts.Et pour conclure ce superbe moment, nous rejoindrons l’aéroport par le train.
Normal, car à Vienne, les transports en commun  sont plus qu’accessibles,
le billet Vienne centre<->aéroport coûte moins de 2,50€ à comparer avec les 10€ pour rejoindre Roissy CdG..

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Lettre ouverte au résident de la Maison Blanche

Courriel transmis par une amie américaine et, ce n’est ni interdit ni criminel, francophile.
Cette lettre débute par l’injonction : “En tant que juif”. Toutefois, cette injonction aurait pu, aurait dû être “En tant qu’humain” car en yiddish lorsque l’on parle d’un “type bien” on dit simplement un “mensch”.

Celui qui a écrit cette lettre ouverte est, à l’évidence, un Mensch.

2 Septembre 2019

Début de la lettre


As a Jew

Since you called me out as a Jew, Mr. President, since you thought to call me disloyal or lacking knowledge by not voting for you, I’d like to respond to you personally, even though I have no illusions you will read this.

As a Jew, Mr. President, I am commanded to love the stranger who dwells among us no less than thirty-six times in the Bible you claim to treasure. I am commanded to have one law for the stranger and the citizen. No exceptions.

As a Jew, Mr. President, I am commanded to pay my employees on time, including undocumented workers at casinos, construction sites, or golf courses.
As a Jew, I am commanded to repay bank loans and investors.
As a Jew, I am commanded to never bear false witness.
As a Jew, Mr. President, I am commanded to guard my tongue and speak no evil.
As a Jew, Mr. President, I am commanded to never embarrass my fellow human being in public, lest I be accused of spilling their blood – including Ted Cruz or the late Senator and war hero, John McCain.

As a Jew, Mr. President, I take great offense in my president attacking Denmark, a country that gallantly saved its Jews from the Nazis, while most of Europe fell asleep.
As a Jew, Mr. President, I take umbrage in my Grandfather, the sainted Dr. Rabbi Harry S. Davidowitz, who inhaled poison gas in the trenches of WWI as a US Army chaplain, being called disloyal because he voted Democrat.

As a Jew, born and raised in Israel, I take offense at you calling me disloyal to America AND to Israel because I oppose your inept, ghoulish, uncouth, deceitful, inhumane farce of leadership. How many tours of duty have you performed for Israel during wartime? Or, for that sake, the USA?

As a Jew, Mr. President, I reserve the right to oppose Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib (neither of whom called upon the help of a former KGB operative to help them in their election to office), while simultaneously condemning your divisive, racist rants and policies.

As a Jew who has proud Republican family members who I love and cherish, I am ashamed of what you have done to the Republican party; to conservative ideals – even if I do not share all of those ideals.
As a Jew whose Christian uncle fought heroically at the Battle of the Bulge for our country and for the salvation of Europe – I am ashamed by the mockery you visit upon his sacrifice.

As the son of a Christian pilot, later converted to Judaism, who led American pilots to glorious victory over Nazi Germany, I am outraged by your embrace of neo-Nazi’s and racists in America (that same pilot, who became a squadron commander in the Israeli Air Force, and fought for Israel’s independence).
As a Jew, I am disgraced by your fawning adoration of the worst dictators of our century – you violate Christian and Jewish values by doing so.
As a Jew; as a well-informed Jew who loves and cares deeply for Israel and for America, I condemn you and call you out for the divisive fool, the ogre, the ghoul that you are.

May my soul not enter your council, let me not join your assembly.


Fin de la lettre

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Burger Pinocchio vs Mac Do Vinci

23 août / August 23 2019

Hier le triste clown de la Maison Blanche nous en aura pondu une belle : Il se prend à lui tout seul pour Dieu sur terre. A cet effet, il est utile de proposer deux versions de la Sainte Cène.

Yesterday Bankrupt Pinnochio Bonespur got more creative than possibly expected. He pretends to be God himself. So as a little reminder, two versions of the Holy Supper.

La Sainte Cène / The Holy Supper

La grande Bouffe / The Speedy (fast) Feast

Pour faire bonne mesure, il manque Judas et sa bourse remplie de Sesterces, il a déjà quitté le navire.
Par ailleurs, veuillez noter la petitesse des mains du clown.

For good measure, Judas and his purse full of Sesterces are missing, he has already left the ship.
Please note that Bankrupt Pinnochio Bonespurs has so little hands that in the Army he could not have used a gun anyway.

Et pour les anglophones.

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Susan’s Summer 2019 Week 10

Last week we decided to give a final answer (yes of course) to the following question :
Did you see Jim Morisson grave in Paris?To find the place, we just had to follow the crowd bound to the sanctuary.But is Jim Morisson the only one you should pay a tribute to? Of course not.
Earlier, as we were in the Montparnasse cemetery, we had hand picked a few places to honor.
This time we just walked randomly and ran into some Hall of Famers.
Victor Schoelcher for example, everyone in the universe knows him for his fight.
If you do not belong to the category “Everyone”, click on the link above, you will understand why tou should revere his memory.While we are in a remembrance moment, let us pay a tribute to the non French who fought, with courage, in France, to save Liberty and Democracy.
Here, and do not think that I am overly chauvinist, let me ask you to join me and, together, pay a tribute to the Czech people.

After leaving the Père Lachaise, one of the two major Paris cemeteries, we walked down the rue du Chemin Vert and made two encounters. To be honest only the second one was planned.First stop.
To maintain the glamour reputation of Paris, this shop sells erotic books.
The shop was closed so we did not bring back a sample to share with you.The second stop is more emotional.
Here lived someone who will never be replaced in my memory.
Because our mothers were High School friends, with Patrick, we have shared good and excellent times for the last seven decades.
From cradle to the present moment. Can you say better?Susan loves art, so we made a stop in Barbizon. Please note that even the Post Office is Art.Art did I say?Probably yes.Barbizon is not far from Fontainebleau famous for its Château built by François I (pronounce François Premier). Here Napoleon abdicated the first time in April 1814.Back to Paris for a last walk before Susan returns to Florida. Of course a last fine lunch in our Tuxedo like attire.As a final smile, a forbidden picture.

Susan returned on August 15, we shall reunite in 5 weeks for a French family reunion in Florida in October.

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Susan’s Summer 2019 Week 9

Second Week in the Paris area

Now that Susan has become an expert in public transportation, ie the Paris Metro, she travels by herself and begins discovering Paris on her own.

Along the right bank of the river Seine, East of Paris was a large estate dedicated to wine trade. By the end of the fifties, the area was reassigned: on the left bank a Science University, on the right bank, a park. Vanessa, my daughter and Salomé met Susan for a discovery of the park.Sculptures, ponds decorate the park.As everywhere in this world, shopping booths pop. Some elements of the previous architecture remain, so do the rails of the train that moved the goods around.Last year, Susan discovered China Town, we had a dinner at this restaurant.
As a celebration to this Anniversary, we did an encore.
By the way, she is not the only person with whom I spent a dinner there, my Buddy Claude will recognize the place, it has been there for at least 30 years.On the way to the restaurant, we ran into one of the Fontaine Wallace that ornate Paris, and not only Paris, ever since the end of the XIX century. But let me be square, even though wine is a French common beverage, these fountains offer water only.Paris tries to keep the original artefacts, here an Art Deco Metro station.

Another day in le Marais

A promise was made to Susan a long time ago: a visit to the Musée Picasso. Here we are enjoying, on the ground floor, a common exhibition Calder-Picasso.
Abstract of slightly figurative art offers a large space for naming the works. Here Calder named his word “Wooden Bottle with Hair”. To my point of view, I would have rather called it “Rock attracting Fishes”.As we left the Picasso Museum, we ran into a feather covered bike.
The designer must have smoked untested substances.As we were hungry, in the Plaetzl of Paris, the Jewish quarter, we made an attempt to enjoy Fallafel. The lines were too long, we gave up hoping to find another place.During our search, a Rabbi asked me if I was Jewish and if I had done my daily Mitzvah.
Of course I had was my answer My Mitzvah was to visit the Picasso Museum with Susan.
As a matter of fact, the guy wanted me to lace the Tefilin and do the prayer with him.
I will not get into the details but, after a Pilpul, he understood that it was a lost cause.
Susan looked at us silently during the discussion and could not stop laughing as soon as we left.Facing the restaurant was a shop named “The Trouser”, the motto of the shop is
“You’ve got beautiful legs, you know?”
This of course makes a reference to a 1938 movie called “Quai des Brumes” and if you read the previous Susan’s Weeks, you will smile.

On the way back to the Metro we ran into two shops.The first one is a famous Gay shop.The second one is the world famous Mariage Frères that sells teas,
Susan could not leave without a can of local Earl Gray.Paris is not exempt of vandalism.Neither is the suburb of American invasion. We had to shop in the only COSTCO in France.
The good news is that if Susan falls into a home sick moment, a run to COSTCO will give her a shot of Americana. If the prices were not in Euro, it would be easy to beleive that you are in North America.On Saturday, a visit to the market where we bought Shrimps to prepare Flambé with Pastis for lunch and scalops for tomorrow.

Here comes the Sun(day)

You may have the Greatest Pinocchio, we have the Greatest Flea Market.
Susan had to discover this incredible mix of Schmatte and superb antiques.An example of weird way to spend money: a toy for 20k$.A booth more in line with Susan’s point of focus (desires).After grazing for over two hours, the stomachs cried famine.
An artichoke for Susan, a breadless hamburger for me.On the way back to the Metro, we ran into the French equivalent of Big Bird, a thing named Casimir. Every kid over 30 and berlow 50 knows the show that was the signal to bed time.A first for Susan and me, a ride in the Tramway.
In French the Tramway means a train in the streets.Last but not least, I tried to activate the speed trap an X-Ray Kodak machine.
Even if I had been successful, as I am not registred, I would not have received the moving violation ticket.

Home tonight, Scallops with a white Burgundy. You should have joined us.
May be next time.

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Next vacations / Prochaines vacances

The English version is at the bottom of the page.

Août 2019

Passer des vacances heureuses et revenir sans plaies ni bosses et encore moins avec une balle dans le buffet, il convient de bien choisir son lieu de villégiature. En prenant comme référence le risque d’être tué par une arme à feu, quel pays dois-je choisir.

  1. Irak
  2. Afghanistan
  3. Etats-Unis d’Amérique

Pour en savoir plus, cliquez sur le pays de votre choix.
Bon voyage

 

August 2019

It would be a shame to be killed by a bullet during your vacation.
To figure out the safest country, click on one of the links below to choose your destination.

  1. Iraq
  2. Afghanistan
  3. USA

Have a safe trip.

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Susan’s Summer 2019 Week 8

Last week of Susan’s second month. A Parisian week, so Parisian that we bought a weekly metro pass and Susan graduated, Cum Laude, from “Find your way in the Paris Metro maze”.

The week had begun with a visit to the Louvre.
Susan tried to show the famous Mona Lisa enigmatic smile. SUCCESS!Unfortunately we were not able to reserve the Louvre for a private visit. Susan had to share.
Next time, who knows.

I know, this number 73 rue de Vaugirard does not ring a bell for you.
At this very address I spent the first 40 years of my life. This area was my village.
A pilgrimage was needed. DONE!As we were in the Montparnasse area, we paid a tribute to the great men (and women too) burried in the Montparnasse Cemetery. For stupid reasons we missed the 100th Anniversary of Citroën, the car manufacturer, not stopping by the founder’s grave would have been an insult to his memory.Some graves of unknown wealthies are overly Baroque. This one does not lack an ounce of bad taste.Most Cemeteries have a Jewish quarter, Montparnasse has at least four.Here a famous film maker, Gérard Oury and his wife Michèle Morgan. She had a superb career and she leaves an immortal trace in the French cinema. In the movie “Quai des Brumes” Jean Gabin seduces her with a “You’ve got so beautiful eyes, you know”.

Did I fool you? Moving even in French.Talking about love, sorry LOVE, this deserves an Upper Case, the most famous couple of French intellectuals, Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre.
Simone de Beauvoir, a Path finder in the Women’s Lib said, “You are not born Woman, you become one”.
As for a tribute to the great woman, Susan too left her mark too.We went to l’Orangerie where Monet’s Water Lillies are on a permanent display. In the lower part of the building another exhibit was waiting for us.This modern abstract painting by Alex Katz, inspired by Monet’s Water Lillies, needed a close inspection.Soutine was also part of the exhibit that included, but not only, Matisse, Renoir…
Two hours well spent.We left the Orangerie for, as Bankrupt Pinocchio would say, the most touristy picture in the Galaxy: from le jardin des Tuileries the alignment of la Concorde, les Champs Elysées and l’Arc de Triomphe.Saturday was dedicated to my perversion, Arts and Technologies. This Museum hosts a collection of technological objects such as clocks, measuring standards, communication equipments, mechanical devices, looms (I just discovered this word) and technological cathedrals that will never be number crunching again.Here a Cray 2. In my presence, should you wish to avoid a three hour lecture on the beauty of super-computing, do not even mention the name.

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Susan’s Summer 2019 Week 7

The first week of the second half of Susan’s summer in France.
The center event was the heat wave that struck France and the Paris area.
Over 105F (41C) Paris all time highest temperature ever recorded here.
Beside, few real events to report.Even though we do not have an access to an airplane, we paid a tribute to aeronautics at the Flying Museum of la Ferté Alais.Lots of superb planes, original, restored or rebuilt.Here a Corsair and a Zero, the two beloved enemies on the Pacific front during WWII.Here a luxury airplane. Al Capone owned one, may be I should too.Before leaving the field, I had pay a tribute to the beauties present on the field.We left my future house in Nozay to settle in my daugther’s house in Bourg la Reine.
This enables us to visit Paris with shorter rides.Even though we travel incognoto, a theater play tells my adventures.Ok I might be the King, but Susan is now crowned by Napoleon I.
She reaches a step beyond. I am jealous.After being crowned by Napoleon himself, she successfuly burried him and made the following remark;
“What a huge coffin for such a little big man”.And I may add “what a big roof for a small coffin”.Later we walked to the Ecole Militaire for the view on the Paris Penis.
Do not be scared, even children can look at it.After dinner, we walked back to the Metro station.
A superb view on the Calder’s mobile in front of the UNESCO building. Unfortunately, paranoia forbids a free access to a world treasure paid with our taxes.Here I hoped to share with you another le Corbusier piece of Art.
Nope. Forbiden. I am disgusted.
Let’s return home, I mean Bourg la Reine, not Fort Lauderdale.

Bye till next week.

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Fake Seal

25 Juillet / July 25 2019

Trump a toujours prétendu, même si c’est une flagrante contre-vérité, que son administration est une machine parfaitement bien réglée (Fine tuned Machine). Ce qui suit prouve que, soit c’est encore un de ces mensonges, soit qu’il pratique avec humour l’auto-dérision.
Regardez avec attention le sceau présidentiel qu’il applaudit.

Bankrupt Pinnochio Bonespur (alias DJ Trump) has always claimed, though blatantly untruthful, that his administration is a perfectly tuned machine. The following proves that either it is one more of these lies or that he humorously practices self-mockery.
Look carefully at the presidential seal he applauds.

Le jeu des 7 erreurs / The game of 7 mistakes

Le véritable sceau présidentiel / The real presidential seal

La parodie du sceau présidentiel / The fake presidential sealDe haut en bas / From top to bottom

  • E PLURIBUS UNUM (l’union fait la force/ One of many)
    45 ES UN TITERE ( 45 est une marionette / 45 is  a puppet)
  • Aigle bifide en imitation du sceau impérial russe
    Bifid eagle in imitation of the Russian imperial seal
  • Sur la poitrine de l’aigle les marteaux et faucilles de l’URSS
    On the chest of the eagle hammers and sickles of the USSR
  • Dans les serres de droite, une poignée de Dollars
    In the right talons of the eagle, a handful of Dollars
  • Dans les serres de gauche un set de clubs de golf
    In the left talons of the eagle, a set of golf clubs
  • La queue de l’aigle provient directement du sceau impérial russe
    The tail of the eagle comes directly from the Russian imperial seal

Merci DJ pour ce moment de bonheur à l’image de ton gouvernement. Il aurait été dommage que les Démocrates réussissent à te virer avant cette superbe prestation.

Thank you DJ for this moment of happiness in the image of your government. It would have been a shame that the Democrats managed to kick you before this superb performance.

Et pour ceux qui souhaitent acquérir un superbe souvenir de cet inoubliable moment.

And for those who wish to acquire a superb memory of this unforgettable moment.

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